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Pages: i feel bad [1]
Author Topic: I feel bad

Sr. Member
Posts: 10

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2011-11-06 18-25-02

i feel bad sorry if this is the wrong forum but i need some help i have been dating a girl that is the first girl i have ever loved im not a virgin and she wishes to remain until marriage which i respect and dont wish to change last time we hung out we were making out and i was trying to undo her pants (not knowing if she was ok with it) i couldnt get the button so she laughes and undo's it herself, and i fingered her for the first time now i feel bad because i feel like im not respecting her even though we havent had sex. should i feel bad?
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Hero Member
Posts: 12

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2011-12-25 3-42-15-

Sure. You were making out. You chose to ignore the fact she doesnt want to have sex till the ring is on. You should respect her for what she wishes and keep it zipped. that being said, she has a duality to her because if it is really important she would have stopped.
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Posts: 2

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2012-02-12 23-55-05

NOPE!!! She undid the pants, if she were uncomfortable with you fingering her, she would have slapped your hand, then your face, kicked you in the groin and left (or kicked you out depending on whose digs you were in). IMO, she consented. BUT, I wouldnt be trying to insert your penis. THEN you would be in trouble!!!
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Posts: 24

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2012-02-14 0-31-07-

shuld i talk to her and ask her opinion on it or would that just be awkward?
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Hero Member
Posts: 29

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2012-02-29 21-18-18

Wait... you LOVE her, but you worry that asking her opinion would be "awkward"? Don't take this the wrong way, but... how old are you? Both of you.
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  • nungesser

    Full Member
    Posts: 37

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    2012-03-07 21-22-00

    Personally? I would apologize for crossing a line she may not have been prepared to. Ask if things are good between the of you. And ask what she feels her boundaries are. She may be okay with you rubbing her off and she doing the same. Communication is key to making a relationship work. Talk to her. Let her know you respect her decisions.
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  • doner

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 26

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    2012-03-09 14-04-44

    The biggest thing to me in his post is that SHE is the who undid her pants. She had all the opportunity in the world to stop it and didnt so I dont think he crossed a line. Ive learned that many girls from my generation at least, who wish to remain virgins for whatever reason, will do many different things, and mark the line at actual penetration. I know a girl who would do oral and fingering no problem, but would not allow the guy to fuck her, that was her line till she found the right guy. Myself, not too long ago had an experience where I didnt know her line, and we fooled around a bit, I went to slide a hand up her dress, and she stopped me, said she didnt want anything below the hips which was fine, that was her line and SHE chose to stop it there, rather than letting me continue and allowing me to cross a line that she set.
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  • gulick

    Posts: 53

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    2012-03-19 21-40-26

    But it shouldn't come down to where to assign the blame. It's not spy vs. spy. It's a couple in love. They need to decide together what they want to do and what they don't want to do, and support each other in that.
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  • depaola

    Posts: 5

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    2012-05-25 8-08-52-

    Im not trying to lay blame simply saying that he should not feel so bad about it as he is not thewho forced anything, she allowed him to proceed. As the saying goes, "If you want to finger someone, you'll need someone who will let you finger them, otherwise its rape" That is how it goes right???
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  • verla

    Posts: 20

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    2012-08-27 12-24-30

    But part of being in a relationship At least to me? Is being strong when the other is weak. He could have (Yeah, I know what I am saying) stopped her and said "I know your wishes, do you want to continue." When Dot and I were dating, I stopped her repeatedly and made sure this is what she wanted in the baby steps we took. (She had no experience before marriage.)
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    Posts: 33

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    2012-10-06 11-43-53

    communication is key!!!! Maybe she got caught up in the moment. And now feels like she let you go too far. OR she May just say.... don't try anything further... or dont do it again. Or she maybe fine with what happened. But you wont know unless you ask. and You can start by saying that you apologize if you took things too far... and see what she says. NEVER any harm in talking. And if you really do LOVE her, then there will be many times when you have to talk about "awkward" stuff, but it has to be d
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  • knippel

    Posts: 20

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    2012-10-26 2-00-19-

    Asking questions is almost always the way to go! If you can work on the open communication from the get-go, you have a much better chance of things working out. It sounds like what you want to do is out of respect for her wishes, so she should be open to the discussion. IMO, there is much fun to be had w/o having sex. It does depend on her definition of "sex", though. This instance seems like you were both paying attention to each other, but now is a good time to clarify how you will proceed.
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