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Pages: how do you flirt- what works best [1]
Author Topic: How do you flirt- what works best
rasmus

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2011-02-08 10-32-50

how do you flirt- what works best hi, i am just beginning to admit to myself that I get crushes on other women. I have known since I was in my early 20's and first became aware of these uncontrollable feelings... despite that I was raised in an extremely strict/conservative family that would puke if they knew, and probably disown me... well I'm out on my own now, and there aren't the parents/judgemental friends to have to hide it from on a daily basis. Unfortunately, because of how things were, I am pretty inexperienced at flirting, have never even had a boyfriend because they just aren't interesting (even though I've tried to make myself like them). What do I do?! I'm so frustrated and scared at the same time because the freedom is so new to me. I get crushes on other women all the time, but then am too afraid to let them know. What if they get pissed? Then what? What if they're strait and I'm totally wasting my time? Then I got all excited for nothing. I want to start dating but am really afraid of so much... rejection, not knowing what to say, that things won't work out.... etc.... can anybody offer some good ideas? I'm so frustrated I could scream and I want to do the right thing.
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boroff

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2011-02-10 19-23-13

Only thing that's ever worked for me is a/s/l?
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Katee

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2011-02-11 20-39-28

25/f/la
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  • outten

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    2011-02-13 2-45-48-

    Um. I was trying to be funny Guess I wasn't.
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    babino

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    2011-02-21 15-52-48

    seriously what works best in person, not just in a chat room- like if I see her across the room...
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  • reske

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    2011-03-16 19-56-46

    well it was funny, but...
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    arlene

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    2011-04-20 20-11-31

    Bite your bottom lip While your looking at her, make DEFINATE eye contact, bite your bottom lip in a shy sort of way. But honey, make sure she's a lesbian because straight women will fuck with your heart.
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    canny

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    2011-07-03 7-29-27-

    yeah thats what Im afraid of I think if I fell in love with someone and they were strait I would be so embarassed
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  • monette

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    2011-07-14 21-40-27

    I was not out when i fell in love with this amazing lesbian, i put her through hell. out now. have had my heart broken by straight women before. it sucks. where do you plan on meeting the object of your flirtatios desire?
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  • august

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    Posts: 16

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    2011-08-22 5-06-58-

    well i already met her but i dont even know if she knows that i like her, and i cant tell if she is strait or not and it's driving me crazy!
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  • Anil

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    2011-09-20 19-27-28

    bring it up, casual like. "Oh I love your necklace" "Thanks, I got it at gay pride last summer" or my favorite "my last lover, partner, bla bla.... and SHE bla bla bla" lets her know YOUR orientaion. i used to be super shy. but i find it easier to flirt when I KNOW a woman is a dike.
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  • bisch

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    2011-11-11 23-32-03

    cool ideas, so that would be an example of flirting... I'm so pathetic, I have so little experience because I was so controlled as a kid and literally kept away from other people because of my parents religious beliefs (homeschooled). It was really bad, needless to say, and it's hardly any better now that I'm out on my own because I don't know what to do. So just normal, natural conversation could be flirting?
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    margolis

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    2011-12-31 9-05-09-

    yep, but sexual tension helps i was just trying to help you find out if she's flirt worthy, so ya don't get hurt. but yes, casual conversation is flirting. i like to talk about something outdoors, sporty, so i can bring the conversation around to ... "i love long walks, they can be romantic"
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  • hedman

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    2012-02-24 13-11-46

    i see that makes sense so you can kind of direct the conversation around to something more romantic, or at least kind of suggest your interest. But how do you get around being scared over whether they're strait? Especially if you piss her off. I'm kind of afraid to know. I hate to think that she might be strait. Then what?
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    Fady

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    Posts: 23

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    2012-05-04 23-06-33

    why her? this whole thing would be alot easier on you if you fell for someone who was a way far out lesbian. what is it about this woman that has you sooooo interested? her sexual orientation mystery is making her more interesting to you, isn't it?
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  • schloemer

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    2012-08-02 10-14-04

    well yeah sort of but I admire her as a person for her qualities and I think shes kind of flirty, but I'm not sure. I think I may have been around some girls/women in my lifetime that were trying to flirt with me and I didn't even realize it. It probably still happens. But she did come in to work recently wearing fishnet tights and high-heeled boots and a really tight skirt and a purple scarf and came right past me, with a huge smile on her face, making eye contact- and she has a really nice ass and a pretty face, almost sculptured- and i almost died. But I can't tell her! Aaaaaagh! So that's why I think she was flirting, or maybe just f@&#ing with my heart like you said. And sometimes I've made funny faces and she's returned them, kind of mimicked me in the course of the conversation...
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    reimers

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    2012-08-27 16-02-35

    ya, she's flirting. but careful lots of straight women flirt relentlessly. but you don't just want the flirt. you want the long slow kisses and sweet talk that lasts all night.
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  • Reynold

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    2012-11-02 3-52-52-

    is my ex listening? trying not to reveal to much, but i had some excellent flirt lines with her! she could not resist ;.)
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    antol

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    Posts: 27

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    2012-12-18 9-55-24-

    like what did you say that she liked I need more ideas. Also, does eye contact work, like smiling and raising your eyebrows at someone?
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    carabello

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    2013-01-19 15-28-45

    DON't raise your eyebrows! That sounds like a bad movie!
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    adelle

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    2013-01-28 23-19-01

    how come? like what is raising your eyebrows supposed to mean? In psych I learned that it's the universal human sign, found all over the world, that humans do when they see someone/something they like. But is there a movie where they did that and it was bad? I did it to her once and she laughed and came over to see me. But maybe she was laughing AT me.... I don't know. We were in a group situation at work.
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  • carmical

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    2013-02-10 10-30-41

    Tell her it's spring and your dying to kiss if she responds with the suggestion of how to find a good man, run for the hills.
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  • kate

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    2013-02-23 22-15-37

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    cutaia

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    2013-03-04 9-58-48-

    maybe if you felt safe that's what i did. i told her in our very first conversation away from "people" that i was in love with her. our first kiss lasted at least an hour.
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    rodick

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    2013-03-29 19-28-49

    but what if she was your boss or teacher or some authority over you? Then how would you handle it?
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  • gallaher

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    2013-05-01 21-49-32

    um, she was. but i don't trust that anybody could handle that as well and professional as we did. anyway now i can't work there anymore or i'd just sit around crying all day.
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    folker

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    2013-06-16 12-11-19

    really? Cool So she was your boss and it was OK to tell her and you didn't get fired. See, I'm scared because of the situation that I'd get her in trouble or that people would find out that we were in love or that if she's NOT interested that things would be forever after awkward.....
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    goatley

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    2013-09-16 22-17-49

    valid fears. go slow, be careful. i gotta go to sleep, darlin. nice chatting and good luck. in the meantime, why don't you try dating some lesbians and get more comforatable with yourself. don't put all your eggs in her basket just yet.
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    2013-10-02 18-35-16

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